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Showing posts from June, 2021

You are the sukoon I've been longing for all my life

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You don't evoke poetry in me. You don't give me the highs the wild lover inside of me crave. You do nothing to unleash the dirty side of a woman in bed. And yet every morning I desire no one else by my side but you. Every morning I think of your gentle words. They fall on the curves of my body and caress my parched soul. My half-opened eyes search for you in my empty bedroom. Maybe if I close them one more time with total devotion you will miraculously appear. And you will kiss me gently on my cheek. I will live a million lives in that single moment when your lips will touch the right cheek - I often think. I look at my phone and think of calling you. Perhaps one day I will. Perhaps one day the fucked up woman inside me will give up -- and -- the girl who has seen you transform into a man from a boy will win. I will dial your number which I remember by heart. I will ask you to take me away to a far-off wonderland where I will be me and you will be mine. I am waiting for that da

I am heartbroken over our failure as a couple

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I asked you to love me. Nothing else. Just love. I didn't desire marriage. I am miles away from the glitter of the designer trousseau, lavish weddings and rituals are suffocating for me. I didn't want a house, money or child from you. I've learnt this by a bad stroke of luck that as a woman I am capable of having all of them on my own. I can build a house and make it home. I can earn, invest and splurge money. I can have and raise a child as a single mother. Don't get me wrong, I am capable of loving myself as well. But I desired love. I wanted to lie on your shoulders as the paisley curtains blew in the cool summer breeze. I wanted to look into nothingness as we listened to Masoom songs on loop. I wanted to gently kiss you on the neck while you were getting ready for the gym. I wanted to share silence with you after our aggressive fight over politics. I wanted to share the lows of my life while I sulked in your lap. I wanted to sit on the carpet and read a book while y

Rewind - May 2021

 I am disappointed. I shall write more and cover more emotions. Hopefully will do it now. Date Published 05/03/2021 तुम किसी मोड पे थाम लो मेरा हाथ बस इसी आस में ज़िंदगी का सफ़र क़ायम है 05/05/2021 रिश्तों में मिलावट है तो दारु में क्यूँ करें साली ज़िंदगी में कोई चीज़ तो नीट हो 05/09/2021 बन के चिट्ठी कभी तेरे घर पे आऊँ और तुम मेरा हाल-ए-दिल पढ़ लेना 05/12/2021 बहुत अफ़सोस की बात है कि हज़ारों चिताएँ जल रही हैं  और कुछ लोग उनपे अपने हाथ सेंक रहे हैं 05/14/2021 Pain, misery and sorrow are better teachers than books can ever be. 05/24/2021 कि तुम्हें महसूस करने की शिद्दत समझ लो  हम खाली बिस्तर पे फेर लेते हैं उंगलियाँ