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I dipped my feet in the holy Ganges - and let a part of you go away - for you were my only sin

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I've walked on the eggshells for a decade. I have been choked so hard that I have collapsed many times, but not hard enough to kill me once and for all. At this point, I wish it happened. I wish I was dead rather than bearing the seething pain of not living a normal life. Life has taken my ability to form any relationship. Today, I let you go away. Barely a couple of months after tasting the real happiness. You know we are all fragile. Most of us should be handled with care. However, some like me warrant special treatment. Like a war-savaged artwork, people like me should be admired and loved from far away. We are too fragile to be held in arms. We tend to collapse. Then the saddest part is people who hold us are blamed to break us. Little do they know, we are a lost cause from the very beginning. We are unrepairable and unworthy of love. After saying the last goodbye, I went to my happy place. I filled the bathtub. I sat in it. I couldn't picture us in the bathtub listening to

ख़ूबसूरत हो, ख़ूबसूरत सा दगा देते हो...

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I have written a few #songs. Thought of sharing songs that are rejected by #musicians on social media and blog. If anyone wants to compose it, please reach out at contact@sarusinghal.com. Here it goes... मीठे लगते हो पर हो तुम ज़हर ठहरी में साहिल सी   तुम तेज़ कोई लहर मेरे अंदर की आग को कुछ ऐसे हवा देते हो   ख़ूबसूरत हो ख़ूबसूरत सा दगा देते हो   ख़बर फैलें मोहल्ले में   बदनाम हो हम भी   बीते शामें साथ   आधी रात वापिस आऊँ मैं कभी बिस्तर पे सिलवटें हो   उन सिलवटों पे ये कहते हो   ख़ूबसूरत हो ख़ूबसूरत सा दगा देते हो   बेनाम हो रिश्ता हमारा तबाही को क्यूँ नाम दे अधूरे लाखों है यहाँ एक - दूसरे को क्यूँ इलज़ाम दे बनूँ मैं घाट सी तुम नदी सा मुझमें बहते हो   ख़ूबसूरत हो ख़ूबसूरत सा दगा देते हो #baawri_basanti #writer #hindi 

Rewind - September 2021

September was kind to me. I wrote these couplets and did a lot of work on myself... Date Published 09/01/2021 बस इतनी सी तमन्ना है  जितना मैंने तुम्हें प्यार किया उतना कोई मुझे भी प्यार करें 09/05/2021 सुनिए, सरेआम इश्क़ नहीं, तमाशे होते है! 09/07/2021 सफ़ेद कुर्ते पजामे में धीमे-धीमे मुस्कुराना ज़ालिम ख़ूबसूरती की भी एक हद होती है 09/07/2021 तुम मिलने का इरादा तो रखो मैं वक़्त से कहूँगी की वो रुक जाए 09/13/2021 जब मिलता है धोखा दोस्त से तब यक़ीन उससे नहीं खुद से उठ जाता है 09/13/2017 तुम बोलो तो रफू करवा लाती हूँ  तुम्हारे जाने के बाद उम्मीद तार-तार हो गयी है 09/15/2021 तुम आसमाँ की तरह विशाल थे मैं समन्दर की तरह गहरी बस इस ऊँच-नीच के चक्कर में प्यार कही खो गया 09/17/2021  मैंने किया था मशहूर तुझे वरना मेरे इश्क़ से पहले तेरी औक़ात क्या थी 09/26/2021 दूसरों से लड़ना क्या बड़ी बात हैं ये जो खुद से रात-दिन का संघर्ष है ना बस ये इंसान को खोखला कर देता है 09/27/2021 आज शाम घर लौटते हुए परिंदो से जलन हुई वो झुंड में थे और मैं अकेली

Rewind - August 2021

I came back from a 10-day trip yesterday. I met my family and friends after 2 years and 4 months. Yes, I counted. COVID-19 has changed the world. My travel was affected too. There were many forms and declarations to be filed, mandatory tests before flying and strict protocols at the airport and on flights. The trip was great. I had the best time in New York. However, it was life-altering. It gave me a new perspective on life. I met my 1-year nephew for the first time. He is a very social child. He came running to me and hugged me. He hugs everyone - that child knows no stranger-danger funda! But a child's hug is beautiful and out-of-this-world. I don't want to mention the details of whats and whys but this trip has changed me. It has made me more focused and goal-oriented. Hopefully, better things will happen because of all I've experienced in the last 10 days. And here's what I wrote in the month of August: Date Published 08/10/2021 भगवान करे ऐसा सैलाब आए  तुम्हने जो ग

Rewind - July 2021

 I think this is the only time in the last 10 years that I’m barely writing. Hopefully, my schedule and habits change in near future. I wrote the following in July. Date Published 07/03/2021 आज आपने 4 आँसूं क्या बहाए सतलुज सा उफान मेरे दिल में भी उठा 07/05/2021 सीने में दर्द आँखों में नमी इस भीड़ सी दुनिया में सिर्फ़ तेरी कमी 07/07/2021 मीलों का सफ़र और लाखों उतार-चढ़ाव विशाल समन्दर हैरान हैं कि फिर भी नदी इतना इतराती क्यूँ है  07/12/2021 हार जाते तुम से लाखों बार मुझसे एक बार हक़ जता के लड़ते तो सही 07/15/2021 Have the courage to look in the eye of the storm and say, ‘I’m the fucking hurricane.’ 07/15/2021 किस बात पे इतना इतराते हो तुम चोट खुद देते हो और फिर गले लगाते हो तुम 07/20/2021 Summer is a season of love. If you will, fall in love with yourself. 07/20/2021 ज़िन्दगी रोडवेज की बस है  सवारी अपनी भावनाओं की खुद जिम्मेदार है

Poets are phoenixes and poems are butterflies

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There is a perpetual sadness that resides in the deep recesses of poets' hearts. Like a landmine, it explodes when someone walks on it. The anguish and destruction are enough to damage them all over again. And yet like a Phoenix they rise. Smeared in the ashes of only one mistake - why did they let anyone enter their lives knowing too well it will be catastrophic? But then poets are humans. Humans need love above anything else. If  Maslow's  Law of  Hierarchy  wer e to be written again, poets would start from the middle. The need for love is greater than the need for food for them. It has always been like that. It will always be like that. Because poets can live without food for a week. Without love, they will perish into oblivion. They like the volcanic eruption of love - grand gestures when their lovers express love, wild and long orgasms on the bed and the subsequent ocean of pain in which they eventually drown. Poets, of all people, celebrate love in all its forms. The soft

Rewind - June 2021

 I thought I would write more. Basically, I’d have more free time for the creative juices to flow. And boy, was I wrong? I hope in the coming months, I get better with time management and can write more. I wrote these and some proses in the month of June. Date Published 06/11/2021 उफ़्फ़ ये तुम्हारा दफ़्तर से देर से आना और मेरे सुलगते अरमानो को थोड़ा और सुलगाना 06/16/2021 मचल रही है उँगलियाँ  तेरे मेरे जिस्म पे थोड़ा कोहराम हो  इन चादर की सिलवटों पे  थोड़े हम भी बदनाम हो 06/19/2021 दिन और रात का होश नहीं ना तारीखों का हिसाब रहता है जब इश्क़ में किसी का  दिमाग़ ख़राब रहता है  06/20/2021 इस इश्क़ में सब कुछ तेरा-मेरा है बस नाराज़ होने का हक़ सिर्फ मेरा है 06/21/2021 It’s beautiful to find someone who can undress you with his words and can reach your soul with a soft brush of his fingers.