Posts

Showing posts from June, 2019

Loving you was not a mistake, it was a bloody sin

Image
It was a cold November afternoon. I sat on the floor. With my knees pressed against my breast, arms around my legs, I wept inconsolably. There was no one in the house. I was alone. But I wish you were there. I wish you could see your only accomplishment. Your only legacy -- you ruined someone's life beyond repair. I hugged myself tighter and closed my eyes so tight to squeeze out every last drop tear out of my body.
It was the last day I thought of you as a man. You know why -- it was the last day I doubted myself as a woman.
It's June now, it's cold here in Toronto. Today, months later, I felt like sitting on the cold floor and crying to ease my pain. I did that. I sat on the chair, looked at the steady pile of setbacks, one failure after another, tears rolled down my cheeks. My every effort to build my life comes crashing down week after week. But now, I don't wipe my tears off. You know why -- I don't wear mascara any longer. You not only ruined my life. You to…