You are the sukoon I've been longing for all my life

You don't evoke poetry in me. You don't give me the highs the wild lover inside of me crave. You do nothing to unleash the dirty side of a woman in bed. And yet every morning I desire no one else by my side but you.

Every morning I think of your gentle words. They fall on the curves of my body and caress my parched soul. My half-opened eyes search for you in my empty bedroom. Maybe if I close them one more time with total devotion you will miraculously appear. And you will kiss me gently on my cheek. I will live a million lives in that single moment when your lips will touch the right cheek - I often think. I look at my phone and think of calling you. Perhaps one day I will. Perhaps one day the fucked up woman inside me will give up -- and -- the girl who has seen you transform into a man from a boy will win. I will dial your number which I remember by heart. I will ask you to take me away to a far-off wonderland where I will be me and you will be mine. I am waiting for that day. I hope you will wait for me till then.

I want to wake up next to you. I want to kiss you goodbye when you leave for office. I want to be that woman you sip Oban with on a cozy winter night. I want to be your companion for the rest of our lives. I also want to be the woman you call when your car breaks down in the middle of the highway. I want to hit the best bars in town and watch football matches with you. I want to talk about cigars, sports cars and porn with you. I want to be your buddy till the end of time.

Understand my struggle. You are not the man I ever imagined I will spend my evenings with. And yet every ounce of my being thinks of building a life with you. It is not attraction in the worldly sense. It is not love in the conventional sense. It is something so pure, so divine and almost out of this world. I don't know what to call you. Lover? Boyfriend? Partner? Soulmate?

I only know one thing today -- you are the sukoon I've been longing for all my life.

Please wait till I am ready to cross the bridge and dial your number in the morning.


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