To the woman who sleeps with someone else's husband
Let me begin by saying - I understand human relationships are complex. I also understand one-night stands, flings, excitement those flings bring, sexual desires, desire to be wanted by men other than your own husband. What I don't understand - why you had no respect for me? Why you demeaned me, mocked my looks, made remarks about my intelligence? And why you chose to do all that for not one day but for years? Even when I was going through one miscarriage after another.
Now let me tell you how your actions ruined one woman's life beyond repair.
When you did all that my husband came home and repeated the same words and actions to deal with his own guilt. He objectified me - he inserted in me when you were not available. He mocked my looks - his exact words - I look like a chimpanzee when I wear a bright-coloured lipstick. You know, I can't look at any man now. He insulted my intelligence. He said I was good enough only to bag groceries at a supermarket. The list of insults is so long I can't write it in one letter. I visit one insult every day and try to break free from that mental shackle.
I know I may never get answers from you. Closure is one luxury I will never have. But today, I want to tell you how a wife feels when her husband chooses to share bed with another woman.
She feels angry - which is a normal and easy emotion to understand. But she also feels worthless - which, believe it or not, is a complex emotion. Every time she looks in the mirror, she doesn't feel the urge to get ready. Every time she looks at a couple holding hands, she looks away because she knows no man would ever do that to her. The worst - she would never trust anyone ever again. Both of you have killed the innocent girl insider her. And for that, she will never forgive both of you.
As you would read this sitting comfortably with your husband and daughter in your home - know I live month-to-month in a rented room with no one by my side.
I wish I could only ask - what wrong I did to you?
And I only pray - no woman does this to you.
Trust me, it's a wound that never heals.
P. S. I've not stopped wearing bright-coloured lipstick. Just so you know, now I rock it with a smile.