Contrary to popular belief, I am not romantic, but I am high on drama. I am lovingly called nautanki by my darling family. I have to do everything with style and the ‘zara hatke’ bug itches me every time I plan to do something. What is life without a little spice, I ask? I don’t believe in love being a gentle breeze, it’s like a storm that sweeps you off your feet - bold and ferocious. And proposals should be like hindi movie trailer - action mixed with the masti of an item number, and dashed with just the right amount of emotions.
This Valentine’s Day, I am planning to propose the man of my dreams, leaving all subtleties behind. I would bring action, music and daring in a never before avatar. And for that, I have to empty my wallet, rehearse a bit and grease the palms of few people. Dekho, itna toh pyaar mein karna hi padta hai! Since the love of my life is overbusy and works even on weekends, I am planning to surprise him at his office where he would least expect me. The plan is to bribe the security guards at his office and ask them to turn on the fire alarm, and then, the action would begin. The blaring noise of the fire alarm would announce the arrival of my prince charming. What next? Well, like a hindi movie hero, I would manage everything single handedly. I would park my car just in front of the fire exit of his building and hop on its rooftop with a box of his favorite kaju katli in one hand. Haven’t you heard - way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Why leave any stone unturned? You see, my movie has everything, even sweetness. In another hand, I would hold my iPod which would be connected to my Bose iPod Dock, poor thing would finally serve some purpose.
Then, as he would descent from heavens above, I mean, the fifth floor, I would play a nice medley of ‘Jiya Jale’ and ‘Love is on fire’. With two fire songs and actual fire alarm, mind you, I would be creating a trilogy of some sorts. With the music playing in the background, I would declare my love to the world and propose to him. Fine, in front of whosoever is slogging on weekend with him. In fact, I have written a “soulful” poem to propose him -
Twinkle twinkle little star,
How you wonder - what is this yaar?
Up above the car so high,
This ladki is proposing this guy!
...And I would point towards him. Have you seen such depth or seriousness before? Nahin naa!
So, ladies and gentlemen, this is how I am planning to propose the man I love and hope he says yes. Nahin toh, yeh basanti car se kud ke apni jaan de degi.
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