Have you ever wondered what makes a relationship tick? It's love, understanding, respect that keeps it alive but much before that, it is the desire to have that person in your life. In spite of many differences, you patch up. You do that because when you sideline all the bitterness from it, you have a bunch of memories which tells you - this relationship is worth it!
You do everything because you know no relationship is perfect. You had differences with your parents, siblings, and friends, and eventually, you forget those differences and they are still there in your life. Maybe, you left few friends and relatives in that process. However, you left only those who were not important or the difference was much bigger than the relation. There is, of course, a social angle to it. You can't leave your family. Who does that? You can't leave your spouse. Why? Society will judge you, you'll have a tabooed word associated with you for your entire life. Now, the question is...what about you?
You have a relationship to which you are completely loving and honest. You make efforts to keep it alive, you change yourself and you make sacrifices. But many years down the lane, you realize you have lost yourself. You are nobody. You don't even know what makes you happy. Sad, isn't it?
And one day you make a decision. You say to yourself, 'I want to be happy. I want nothing but happiness.' This is the day, you find all the answers you have been looking for.
Respect yourself before you respect others. Give your happiness more value. Make sacrifices not because someone you love will be happy, make it because it makes you happy. Above all, love yourself...
P. S. - But still.... It Takes Two to Tango, Two to Fight and Two to make it Alright!
Beautiful, Saru..true too..many times, it's not justt about two..it's the kids that matter..many people stick to the relationship for the sake of kids..But, I agree our happiness first :)
ReplyDeleteFirst love yourself. and this is what we do the last. we try to keep everybody happy losing one-self in the process.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. :)
ReplyDeleteThe concluding lines say it all. Well said, Saru!! Beautifully penned...as usual :)
ReplyDeleteNot the age for all these talks :P Awesome write-up though ;D
ReplyDeleteAnother meaningful write-up from you :)
ReplyDeleteTrue words :) Indeed the desire to have that person in your life matters more :)
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, loving oneself and respecting one's own wishes are paramount. Yet life is not so black and white. There are times when you give and other times when you take. End result should always be more pluses than minuses.
ReplyDeleteVery true...
ReplyDeleteI value honesty over happiness in any kind of relationship. As you can guess, my social circle is very limited due to this reason, but I am very much ok with it.
ReplyDeleteDestination Infinity
As Rachna put it there are times you need to give. Also self love should not turn into ego or arrogance. Well written Saru
ReplyDeleteWonderfully penned. Two tango/fight and in our case travel also.
ReplyDeleteAs usual- beautiful thought expressed beautifully!
ReplyDeleteYes, ignoring negativity gives mileage to any kind of relationship, be it friends, family or other. Sometime, for the happiness of our dear one , we do make sacrifices. Sacrifice is not a bad ingredients in relationship as long as you are taking conscious decision. Means you should know how this will impact you as a individual. If you are OK with that, In my opinion people should not hesitate to put the ingredient of sacrifice.
Overall nice post but length wise I am not satisfied and you concluded it very soon. I wanted to read it as an article :)
Keep rocking!
Saru, the art of giving and not expecting is the key to happiness in every situation be it relationship, work , or otherwise:) In very few WORDS you said it all!
ReplyDeleteVery beautifully said. Learn to love yourself first, respect who you are and see the difference it makes in your life!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your beautiful and sensible thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of the Hindi song 'humko man ki shakti dena, man vijay karein, doosron ki jai se pehle, khud ko jai karein' :)
ReplyDeleteNice post!
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
That's the most difficult thing to do na Saru - to love oneself. Most of the times, we end up finding faults in ourselves. If we learn to love ourselves, probably, we will learn to care less about what others feel about us. Beautifully written Saru.
ReplyDeleteVery well put Saru. Relationships require give and take and if only one person is giving, they are bound to fail.
ReplyDeleteVery right .. if you don't love yourself then it will be difficult to love others as well. Thanx for the nice post.
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Saru,
ReplyDeleteI agree that Self respect is very important. A lot of problems are caused by low self esteem. People carry those complexes and even small jokes or comments are misunderstood as we look at those from our own inferiority complex.
I strongly believe that sacrifice is not a win-win solution. It is a compromise. When you sacrifice, you have it in your back of mind that you have done "so much" for someone. That may tick your ego, however, it also builds up within you that you have been putting all those coins in the box but the other side is not doing enough. Sooner or later that is going to break. Be happy. There is only one life to live.
More than any relationship, one must value the relationship one has with self. Till then, we will always be frustrated. Respect yourself first and you’ll surely FLY. Well said, Saru! :-)
ReplyDeleteVery Nice Read..If we can love ourselves,we will surely be able to love others and self-respect is very important,a person with no self respect will never respect others..And Yes relationship is like a very thin thread we need to nurture with every passing day.. :)
ReplyDelete"In spite of many differences, you patch up. You do that because when you sideline all the bitterness from it, you have a bunch of memories which tells you - This relationship is worth it!"-(so true!)
ReplyDelete(y) You are truly very intelligent. :D
I agree totally with your last paragraph!
ReplyDeleteWonderful, makes lot of sense.
ReplyDeletehm mmminspiring
ReplyDeleteVery well written. I especially love this line, "Make sacrifices not because someone you love will be happy, make it because it makes you happy."
ReplyDeleteIf I can relate this to work, I would say that you should do a good job to feel the satisfaction and not to please your boss.
प्रभावी !!!
ReplyDeleteशुभकामना
आर्यावर्त
nice post!!
ReplyDeleteVery True. It is very hurting to see people break the basic covenant of love n relations and family over petty issues..one tries harming one's own self respect and happiness to accommodate others still people walk over you and you feel small in your own eyes. It is like people take your love for your weakness.
ReplyDeleteI believe there is no discord bigger than love, nor any doubt bigger than relations. Life is about making sacrifices but when they don't yield results, u feel even sad. Why cry for people who dont care for you? Who use you, abuse you and walk without explaining. Its better be alone than nurse feelings of broken heart.
#TrueThat
www.numerounity.com
I loved the PS more than the post !!
ReplyDeleteJust what I needed to day :)
Thanks
AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN...you never fail to inspire. That is a lesson to be learnt.
ReplyDelete"Make sacrifices not because someone you love will be happy, make it because it makes you happy." So true. Awesome post! Loved it! :)
ReplyDeletehttps://www.facebook.com/heywaitlistenblog
So inspiring!
ReplyDeleteTrue and beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThe secret of happiness: 'Love without expectations'
ReplyDeleteLoved it.Especially the wrap-up line.says it all.........
ReplyDeletehttp://sailorswiferamblings.blogspot.com/2013/09/chronicle-of-pirate-attack-survivor.html
That's so true ! You can only give happiness when you are happy from within. And I believe, happiness is a conscious choice. It doesn't happen of its own, unless you specifically decide to be happy.
ReplyDeleteSo true ... .U can spread happieness only when u r yourself happy ...!!no pretentions and the life becomes easy .If u learn to be happy ...u make others also happy .....!!nice article ....
ReplyDeleteYou've expressed the simple yet complex point so beautifully, Thoughtful and inspirng post! :) F. L. Y. ~ Beautiful message!
ReplyDeletethoughtful and inspiring !
ReplyDeleteWell said..if you are not happy, you can never make anyone else happy.. :)
ReplyDeleteWise words. Couldn't help smiling at the P.S.
ReplyDeletePerfectly true Saru and well said. The tragedy of people is that they want the approval of others to even like themselves.
ReplyDeleteLoving yourself is most important for anything in life. ...NICELY WRITTEN
ReplyDeleteIt's really Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletejust loved it
@Everyone - Thanks for reading and adding another dimension to this topic with your comments.
ReplyDelete