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Monday, June 24, 2013

Ring the Bell for Change



I have been witnessing or experiencing the one sided judgements of society. A rule-book of what a woman should do, what to wear, how to behave, what to speak and sadly, what a woman should think! I am not someone who will shout slogans at the top of her voice. I would rather do my bit and encourage others by setting an example. I believe, I'm that tiny stone that will lead to ripples of change.

2012 was a dark year in Indian history. We witnessed how low humanity can stoop. We saw brutality, we realized how much we need to change and educate our society. There are some deep rooted myths and some stupid logics. But, who will act? Do we have time to look beyond our family and friends? I guess, NO! Then why don't we start within our own circle. Let's start by standing up for those who are a part of our lives.

Afghanistan, crime against women, bibi aisha
Bibi Aisha - Time's Cover, 2010
I hope you all know about Bibi Aisha. She was on Time's cover in summer 2010. Given away in traditional baad practice by her father in Afghanistan at the age of 12, she was married at 14 and for 4 years she faced brutality. When she couldn't bear it anymore, she ran away and came back to her parents. Her father sent her back. To teach her a lesson, her husband and in-laws took her to mountains, chopped her ears and nose. She was left there to die, but thankfully, was rescued by US army. Many of us will be numb after reading it. But, let me tell you that you will find many such incidents in Jammu and Kashmir, buried in a small column of a National Newspaper. We all sympathize with such cases and we wish we could help them. But there are many wonderful people out there who, in spite of all differences, come and help. They know action is louder than words…

Jodi Bieber - Photographer
Diane Sawyer - Reporter 
Shiphra Bakhchi - Psychologist; are few names who inspire. Not to forget The Grossman Burn Foundation which did reconstructive surgeries free of cost and arranged for her visa. But these ladies deserve special mention as they understood the pain of another woman, they helped Bibi Aisha with the second innings of life. They came forward when she was just another case in the media.

Women, Life, Afghanistan
Bibi Aisha - After her surgery, 2013
It's not possible for almost all of us to help someone who lives in another country. We have neither time, nor resources. But we can help those who are part of our lives. A mother should teach her son to respect women, a mother-in-law should support her daughter-in-law. You should report cases of child marriage and domestic abuse. We should encourage our friends to speak against violence and intervene when we witness eve-teasing. Most importantly a woman should stand for a woman as we know how bad it hurts physically and emotionally. When I first stood for another female, it was difficult. I was scared; but witnessing her situation helplessly was suffocating. And when I acted, I felt liberated, I felt alive.

So, I appeal all the ladies out there, help women around you. There is Diane Sawyer and Shiphra Bakhchi in all of us. Act - Raise your voice, Ring the bell. 


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109 comments:

  1. "I believe, I'm that tiny stone that will lead to ripples of change." So thoughtful of you! Wonderful article Saru!:)

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  2. nice post..but i have noticed that unfortunately a woman only makes matters worse for another woman..we should first overcome this inherent jealousy then only we can be united towards a noble cause.

    Read 'Dear Zari' by Zharguha Kargar for such stories that will make you think about the lives of many such women.

    Bell Bajao is indeed a great initiative and we all must join it. Thanks for sharing the info.

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    1. I will surely read the book. As I said in the article, 'a woman should stand for a woman as we know how bad it hurts physically and emotionally.'

      Overcoming jealousy is not that easy, even for men. And yes, Bell Bajao is a great initiative. Thanks for reading AS and for your wonderful comment :)

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  3. U sure rang a bell loud and clear... tx a ton for the write and share

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  4. That is a nice Post..We really should come together hand in hand to eradicate such violence form the society...

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  5. Even I have written two post....I also have written two Post on the same issue..if you have time please check that out and please leave your views...
    https://allresourceupdates.wordpress.com/2013/06/19/crimes-on-women-time-to-stop-it/

    https://allresourceupdates.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/put-a-halt-on-women-voilence/

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  6. We women need to help other women. So true. A lot of crimes would stop that way. Enthralling read Saru and yes, I am still numb.

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    1. Pooja, it's nothing in comparison to what happens to females in J&K. And yes, we need to stand by other women as we know how much it pains, emotionally and physically.

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  7. Well written Saru. Unfortunately in rural areas, situation is much worse for women. In those places, mostly it is not the man who is dictating girls how to look and behave but actually their mother/grandmother etc. No one from outside can help you out in that case until you rebel.

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    1. Oh! I know what you are talking about. I come from a remote village in HP and I have seen that but this is true even in small cities. And first you should want a change. I know many women who said we never thought of changing the situation as we accepted it as our destiny. And when they felt the strong urge, they did it.

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  8. a problem that needs to be educated soon .. All the best :)

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    1. For sure and all the best for what, Ankur?

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  9. Nice post and good thinking. Yes, small small changes will definitely make a big change in India and in the world. Apart from this, we need to improve our value system... That is very much required at this point of time.

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    1. We need to work a lot on each aspect of our life. Thanks for reading.

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  10. सहमत हैं, यह बर्बरता हमें लील लेगी, इस पर विजय पाना आवश्यक।

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    1. Right, we need to conquer such evils.

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  11. lIKE i ALREADY SAID, I saw about her on discovery channel....I respect u for writing this..Loved it

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  12. Quite awakening post, Saru!
    I wish everyone listen the bell you rang for the change must needed!

    My best wishes!

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    1. I hope so too. BTW, what are best wishes for?

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  13. its in human and harsh enough to make one revengeful.. towards the one who is responsible for this act..but then this would never eradicate the issue! it very well exists in India as well.

    I respect you all the more because you never cease to talk about such inhuman incidents and bring to light the need of being responsible !!

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    1. It does exist in India and I hope we change with time. Thanks for the lovely words Nitesh. :)

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  14. Yep I read about Aisha. And you are right that there is some woman somewhere close to us that we can help uplift!

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    1. And we must do something for those in need.

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  15. It sure sent chills down my spine!! How can people be so brutal! Now I'm all sad :(

    But that was sure a respectable take on the topic!! Best wishes!

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    1. Hard to believe at times. Thanks for reading Kriti :)

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  16. the bell you rang knock at every heart. nice, beautiful write.

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  17. You have hit the nail on the head

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  18. That was special post .. i think we as human should realize and take a step forward by doing what we can manage with the resources we have ... examples are set for us ....

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  19. From start to end it was well penned .. short and to the point and yes of course u successfully delivered the massage as well as.

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    1. Thank you Bhavana and welcome here :)

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  20. Thank you Saru for introducing us to Bibi Aisha. it is a lovely post as well, sharp and to the point.

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  21. Somebody commented, rural women are in worst situation. I think he wants to say urban woman. In rural areas women are respected more than that of urban :-) Nice article TFS.

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    1. We all speak from our experience, I would say. Thanks for reading Paresh

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  22. It is unfortunate that even in 21st century such barbaric acts are perpretrated. The only solution as you have said is to educate and sensitize everyone to these issues.

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  23. You have used one incident to highlight the plight of women and the physical violence that they suffer.

    This is just the tip of the iceberg. There are other kinds of abuse that we need to address too and its pronounced in some parts of the world and addressed swiftly in other parts.

    What we require is not mere education of the masses but a promise at an individual level to be more than a normal man but that is probably asking for too much.

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    1. Education will bring such change. Changing people have never been easy. We should aim at creating awareness at all levels. Of course, it is just a tip of the iceberg.

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  24. a nice and informative post...i hadn't heard of bibi asha...and that's perhaps coz there have been so many bibi ashas to choose from

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    1. Yeah, sadly the number of such cases is terrifying.

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  25. There are people who help those in distress, but as you said, we should do the best of what we can. The worst we could do is to say that women should have a dress code. The respect for the better half, should be inculcated at a young age for at least the next generation, so that we do not see such incidents in future.

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    1. We can only prevent it to happen in future. Thanks for reading Ash. :)

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  26. So true,we should do what little we can. We need to teach our sons to respect women. We need to bring those ripples of change so that it can become a wave and then tsunami!

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  27. everyone should do whatever they can within their own realm and domain.. little efforts will transform in movement....
    for that we have to start first..

    Ring the bell as and when you can :)

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  28. There's so much to be done... Great attempt from your side.

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    1. Of course, we have a long way to go...

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  29. Amen to everything you say. We must strive to make the world a better place. We really must!

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  30. Touching post from you Saru. Hope this will be another nail in the coffin of domestic violence.

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  31. Great thoughts! Our single action could bring a transformation in this world. Bravo! :)

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  32. Great initiative and lovely post, Saru. Domestic violence is the worst atrocity committed on a woman, as her trust is broken...

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    1. True and it happens a lot in our part of the world.

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  33. Fully support the campaign and your views. Great to be a part of a very good awareness campaign. Hats off to IndiTeam and Renie for giving a chance to bloggers to do something social and considerate

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    1. Yes, thanks to Indiblogger and Renie. And thanks to you for reading it :)

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  34. an inspiring post saru.. so true many times i have seen people walk away or do very little... even if some one cannot be physically present to help there is always always some way in which you help someone

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    1. There is always a way provided you want to do it. Thanks for reading Suku :)

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  35. Very moving and motivating post Saru. So much happens around us, and we take notice of them only when sometime brutal incident happens. All the more glad for Bibi Aisha, who's not only bold, but determined too!

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    1. We wait for the worst to learn a lesson. Thanks for reading Anu.

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  36. Very nice post .... Its time to change.... Lots of tiny stones..when collected..its became big building...!!!

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  37. Saru, you've inspired me to write for this cause. For some reason or the other I was postponing it. Will surely devote some time today and do my bit. Thanks!

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    1. Glad, we must write more on social issues, Rekha.

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  38. I echo this bell sound by you...
    Take my bow.

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  39. Wish more people thought the same way, Saru!

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  40. I felt so sad for the girl. But you put it really well.
    How unfortunate the girl was but after her operation she looks confident and marvellous.

    Thank you Saru. You have written it very neatly and in a balanced way!

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    1. Yes, she is having a beautiful life now. Thanks for reading and welcome here :)

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  41. Well written Saru. Indeed actions speak louder than words. An alarming post.

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  42. Very nice post. You have put your thoughts across in a clear and concise manner. If everyone does their little bit, we will have a much better world. The world today is quite pathetic as people love to pass judgements where they should be minding their own business. And when they should speak up, they stay mute spectators. A pitiable state!

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    1. We need to work on our morals. Do what is needed. Thanks for reading and sharing your views.

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  43. Deeply felt. A convincingly written post, Saru.
    All the best for the contest.

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    1. It's not for the contest Ma'am. It's an initiative by Indiblogger and BellBajao. Thanks for reading though :)

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  44. it all starts in the house, how one teaches the kid as they grow....the values, the respect, the self control....somehow our society has created parents who are too attached towards their kid with blind love that their over possessiveness and over protectiveness creates a man without spine....this I am talking of parents who are not biased towards boys...then think of the majority of parents who are...

    people would not stand up unless we find a way to change the mindset of people...a drastic change in the educational system may be...easier said then done...

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    1. A drastic change, which is of course is difficult to achieve and will take many more years. We are biased for male child, a harsh reality in India.

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  45. omg, that was really inspirative. You really have a feeling to write about this kind of things. Respect

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  46. What an incredibly ruthless world we live in. It is time for all of us to chip in. But I must say, there are so many people around the world suffering in so many inhuman ways that hope for most may be too much of a pipe dream.

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  47. Very well written Saru. An idea well crafted for a good cause!

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  48. i would say, don't trust anybody, trust yourself .. self defense is very essential today ... it must be taught to all!

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  49. I ditto to what u say and do. Live and let live by setting examples. What I am finding really hard to digest is the smallness and mean mindedness of women themselves. Those who remain mute...others who instead of empathising gossip endlessly about if there was no smoke then there would be no fire...and the worst of the lot...educated career oriented women who want to grab the attention of the world on the social networking sites by pretending to be modern and standing up for a social cause but addressing the other daughters as slut just because the girls chose to dress up in a particular manner.
    Nevertheless I shall keep on trying to my bit. Thanks for sharing this and also for stooping by at my post once in a while. Ur comments make me feel heard in a manner which conveys- angst shared!

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    1. Hi Shivani,

      More than anything, I loathe people with double faces. Just be what you are, never pretend. No one questions you for standing or for questioning things but when you lie/pretend you loose respect. And, it's always a pleasure reading you. :)

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  50. I feel sorry and spirited at the same time, after reading this post. Thank you.

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    1. Even I had similar feelings while writing it. Thanks for reading Abhra.

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  51. I am just wondering why there is no Ring the Bell campaign yet when 'My Choice' becomes women's rights and even men are deprived of the same rights or never demand those as rights. Of women are objectified anywhere, it is they who feel Proud of exposing them and claiming that as right, or doing whatever they want and then claiming that as right. Men probably do not need any respect.

    Partha
    www.themalefactor.com

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