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Monday, September 7, 2015

Basanti On Activa - #ChasingBadGuys


I have had many brushes with adventure - Ambala ki baadh, Haryana Roadways se takraar and Police wale se pyaar. Sadly, third lasted only a few hours. It happened in the summer of 2007. I was coming back from Ludhiana Stock Exchange. I got off from bus, took my Activa from parking lot and drove to nearby market. I wanted to buy a few things for my Friday fast. Haan, un dino main badi sanskari thi! I bought all the items in the list, loaded 12 bags on my Activa maal gaadi and for the first time ever, carried my handbag on shoulder. It was around 3 in the afternoon. I was driving happily on Ambala-Chandigarh road which was more secluded than Ramgarh, when out of nowhere, I heard a loud sound and a Bullet zipped by my side. And along with the loud sound, I felt a strong jolt. Bada tez hawa ka jhonka tha, I thought! It took me a few seconds to realise, the ‘hawa ka jhonka’ snatched my handbag.

One-two tears that trickled down my eyes sparked my inner Basanti. I twisted the handle and accelerated my Activa to maximum speed. I screamed my lungs out and one thela wala stared at me. He had no clue of what was happening. Like a broken record, I screamed - Oyeeee ruk, oyeee ruk, oyee ruk. At one point, I was so bored of it myself that I sang, 'Ruk, ruk, ruk, arey baba ruk...' to break the monotony. After sensing zero efficiency of screaming and song, I tried a dialogue from a hit movie - Koi roko, pakdo inhe! The only person who obliged was my poor Activa, who was more loyal than Dhanno that time - aakhir uski Basanti ke purse ka sawaal tha!


I huffed, I puffed, but I never gave up. Bullet tha to kya hua, main bhi Revolver Rani se kum nahin thi! I chased the guys for a few kilometers, who looked damn shocked. Was it by Activa’s efficiency or my prowess - I am not sure, but I like to think by me. Imagine chasing guys on bullet which touches the speed of 100 kms per hour on Activa which barely touches the speed of 45. Nah, nah, nah… don’t have pity on me. Those guys were visibly scared. To their good luck, they found a viran village road and turned on it. It was at that moment my Activa pleaded to me - Basanti iss road pe mat jaana. I stopped there and don't laugh when I say that one of the guys actually waved me goodbye.

I turned back and went to Baldev Nagar Police Chowki. I was a distressed-demented-damsel. I went into the desolated room to lodge the FIR, where I was informed that new DSP Sahab was coming and he would take my statement. Some fifteen minutes later, a tall man entered the room. And as soon as my eyes fell on this super handsome DSP, my mind uttered - Mata Rani ne sun le meri. Yeh mil jaye toh 21 shukrawar aur pakke. He said, ‘Hello’ and asked what happened. I straightened my top, tucked my hair behind my ears before narrating my #ChasingBadGuys act. Our conversation went on smoothly and lovingly. He asked my name, qualification, minute by minute account of what I did that day. By God, I never felt that loved and cared before. 'How can you be sure it was Bullet?' interrupted the SHO. 'Madam, padhi-likhi hai. Bullet aur normal bike ka difference inhe pata hai!' my hero replied, oops... sorry, DSP Sahab replied. I smirked at the SHO - Bada aaya, extra kahin ka!

After all the paper work was done, he asked if I wanted to call someone. No, but I would like to have your number - I so wished to say. He gave me a killer smile and left. By that time, my handbag, credit cards, brand new phone and stock exchange papers were buried deep down under the prospect of my budding love. My mission was not to find my handbag, but to get his number. I went back home, my family was visually agonized. More so, by my chirpy looks. I excused myself into my room and dialled my friend. I told her I 'met' the new DSP, to which she narrated the story of meeting his super-sexy wife in one of her kitty parties. I hated her guts that day - super-sexy kehna zaroori tha. Aur yaar har DSP ki wife Shilpa Shetty jaise kyon hoti hai? By the way, 'How did you meet him, Saru?' 'You won't believe some guys snatched my purse and I chased them till the Punjab border....' There, I switched the storyline and my tone. Dekho, dil mein jitna bhi dard ho, par jeena to padta hi hai na!


P. S. - This is a true story of a sorrowful day when I lost not one, but two things forever.
One - My handbag
Two - My only chance to have an affair with real life Dabang

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36 comments:

  1. Wah... bahut acha... Seems like you took in a role of Lakshmibai while chasing the guys who snatched your purse... Lol...
    Interesting and enjoyable read mam... :-)

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  2. hahaha,..this is one super creative post that tickled down my funny bones. So tactfully presented. Kudos Saru :)

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  3. Hahahah! Too funny!

    A 100cc Activa chasing a 350cc Bullet is like an agile and nimble fox terrier chasing a bull mastiff. Just imagine the shock of the hulking brute, after he finds such a small adversary in chase! :D

    It was really funny when they waved! Full filmy! :)

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  4. i had so much fun reading this.. ;) though I know this was more tragic, but your love at firs sight was super romantic and filmy...i was visualizing raveena tandon and akshay kumar from Mohra..don't ask me why :D

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  5. Haha..! What an interesting post it is Saru ! I couldn't stop smiling throughout the read, despite being a super serious person. You're a true 'Himmatwali', the true 'Bollywood Ishtyle". I guess DSP sahab deserves you more than his Super-sexy-wife. I'm still smiling... Kudos. :)

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  6. Lovely .. what was the name of the DSP. and chasing a bullet on an activia awesomeeeeeee..

    WHAT A IDIOT doing such a think while riding a bullet that is not right you ride a Royal bike and od such stupid things ..

    the ambala chandigarh road oh yes.. been on that one zillions of times .. :)


    Bikram's

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  7. You have had your fairnshare of adventures, Saru:)

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  8. Hahahah....what an account :D :D
    heartbreaks make for great funny stories I guess. Loved it Saru :)

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  9. This is hilarious! Your sense of humor is increasing by the day Saru...and oohh your heartbreak :)

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  10. Hilarious post.....Enjoyed a lot

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  11. hehe.. Supara hilarious. Like your sense of humour. :)

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  12. "'Ruk, ruk, ruk, arey baba ruk...' to break the monotony"- I'm just trying to imagine the scene, Saru :-D :-D

    ..and, yes, sorry for the heartbreak :-P

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  13. You had me laughing out loud! Could visualize you chasing down those goons.

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  14. Oh! Awesome dear :) This post is so beautifully written :)

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  15. Loved every ounce of this terrific post sweetie <3

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  16. A Joy Ride in a Hilarious post Saru Ji . enjoyed it

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  17. Ha ha ha, the hurt of the second loss seems to linger a bit ;) :D

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  18. hahaha That was quite hilarious. I can hear Alok heaving a huge sigh of relief. :D

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  19. Ha ha:) Hilarious:) Enjoyed:) Thank you Saru:)

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  20. 'Bda aaya...extra kaheen ka...' hahah...Had a hearty laugh reading all your *asides*, Saru.

    When my phone was snatched a few years ago, an expensive one at that, I just went blank for a few seconds and then started crying like a baby. Some passer-by called the police, they came but obviously they were indifferent, who cares about a snatching case when there are more *interesting' cases to deal with.

    Glad that you gave them snatchers a good chase. :)

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  21. hahahaha oh god this is hilarious :D Absolutely loved reading it :D Bada aaya extra kahi ka ... ultimate :P

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  22. I read this on Facebook and how much I loved it. You are awesome Saru.

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  23. After reading Alok's post and then this....i am not sure who rubs the humor quotient on whom....it was hilarious and so so vivid. Loved it to bits :)

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  24. Hahahaha this is so awesome Saru! An Activa chasing a bullet must be one hell of a ride ;).

    And add to the that the Dabangg angle in the end. Hilarious stuff! :D

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  25. ROFL. Glad that i clicked the link. let me keep aside the blunder which i did.

    Let us know, what hap next? Did you get the number? This is indeed a hilarious post. the "extra kahin ka" was a hilarious dialogue.

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  26. Hahahaaa. You r are simply superb Saru. I couldn't help visualizing your chase on your dhanno.

    Loved it :)

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  27. haha, Saru, you are amazing! cant stop my laughter.. We are having fun at your expense. :D

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  28. @Everyone - Thank you so much for reading. Glad you all had fun reading it.

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