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Monday, March 5, 2012

अधूरी दास्ताँ


ये लफ्ज़ अधूरे पर बातें पूरी है,
दो जिस्मों में जैसे तिनका भर दूरी है,
ये फ़ासिले न तय होंगे कभी,
क्योंकि हर दास्ताँ -ए- मोहब्बत अधूरी है !
उसके दफ़्न होते ही,
शुरू होगा इक और सफ़र, 
तन्हाई मिटाने के लिए उसकी,
हो जाऊँगी मैं भी दफ़्न !
क्योंकि रूमानी रिश्तों में तो अल्लाह की भी मंजूरी है,
पर जाने क्यों हर दास्ताँ -ए- मोहब्बत अधूरी है !
वो छोड़ दे पहले की तरह,
या लगा ले गले,
उसके मुताबिक़ मेरी हर साँस चले !
हमारे मिलन में अभी सदियों की दूरी है,
मेरी दास्ताँ -ए- मोहब्बत अधूरी है !

~ सरू सिंघल ~

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162 comments:

  1. वो छोड़ दे पहले की तरह,
    या लगा ले गले,
    उसके मुताबिक़ मेरी हर साँस चले !
    हमारे मिलन में अभी सदियों की दूरी है,

    These lines brought tears in my eyes.. Through your writing how well u bring out the true feelings and blow away the dust fallen on some part of the heart which was untouched since so many days Saru.. So touching...

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    Replies
    1. I'm sorry for bringing tears in your eyes, Sonia. Thanks a ton for a heart warming comment.

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  2. Beautiful! :) Especially the 1st two lines! Totally apt for a bollywood song! I'm loving your Hindi poems :):)

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    Replies
    1. Expected from you Harsha. Anything even remotely connected with movies will surely catch your eyes. Thanks for reading!

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  3. Beautiful!!! रूह को छूने वाली लफ्सें... बहुत खूबसूरती हैं इन में!!!

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  4. Meri daastan-e-mohabbat adhuri hai!
    Goosebumps yet again! So so beautifully put! WOW!!
    <3

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  5. सुन्दर सी भावपूर्ण अभिव्यक्ति, सरू .

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  6. simply beautiful !!
    fantastically u have expressed those complex emotional sentiments.

    Agree wid harsha, a song can easily be made on these awesome lyrics :)

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    1. Aww...thats so sweet of you Jyoti and thank you for a lovely comment!

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  7. so touchy Saru,, and like the way of urdu composition, u r versatile saru.. and i always love to read ur poems..

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  8. बेहद खुबसूरत लफ़्ज़ों से सजाया है आपने इस रचना को... बहुत खूब!

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  9. वाह ...बहुत ही बढिया।

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much and congratulations on your book:)

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  10. Wow yaar... copyright and save it!! Very touching words yaar. Tussi truly great ho :)

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  11. very nice and emotional poem..
    I wish the sadiyaaaan go faster so this love story reaches a conclusion ..

    Bikram's

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    Replies
    1. I wish so too Bikram. Thanks for reading!

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  12. beautifully expressed..I love every bit of it.. :)

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  13. har baar bolti band ho jaati hai meri yahan par. :-)

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    Replies
    1. I can't believe this...You are saying so...Feels great to be appreciated by someone like you.:)

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  14. Soulful & excellent,
    leads to the path of creativity.
    Feel comment bhi' adhuri hai..

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  15. Just that I could make someone listen each word of this poem, it would be perfect description of how I feel. Khubsurat! :)

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    Replies
    1. I don't like the sound of it. I don't wish to go through the emotions portrayed in this poem...

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  16. Amazing Saru...I bow to you once again :)

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  17. you beauty! the last lines are just beautiful...

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  18. Replies
    1. Hope you enjoyed the translation by Umashankar...:)

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  19. Aapki kavitayein humare dil ko chhun jati hai. Excellent!!

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  20. Saru, you can point LadyFi, to following approximate translation of your poem above:


    Words have failed but not the strain
    The sea between us can be covered by a grain.
    These miles will remain untraveled
    As all love stories wane.
    The day love is buried
    I’ll set forth like a slave
    To fill the deep solitude
    I’ll lie next to your grave.
    If cravings of souls are God’s own pain
    How come all the love stories wane?
    He may move away as was his wont
    Or come, embrace me with a thudding heart
    My breaths flow as his wishes train
    Eons loom ere we meet again
    The song of my love is but half in refrain.

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    Replies
    1. Awesome translation. Normally translation loses the essence but this one is just perfect. I enjoyed reading both- Saru's creation and this translation. Great job both of you.

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    2. Wow.. that was indeed a brilliant translation. :)

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    3. OH WOW! Saru stimulates the best in us! Uma ji! BHAUT KHOOB! :)

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    4. Superb Pandey ji...beautiful!

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    5. wow...I mean just wow...
      Saru, you must include this translation as a part of the main post.
      Brilliantly done! hats off

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    6. Lovely translation Umashankar! Beautiful!

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    7. loved your translation more than the original one !!!!!

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    8. Awesome tarnslation umashankarji....hats off

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    9. Wow! This is the real essence of blogging, really commendable! Kudos!

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    10. @umashankar- I wish I have written the translated part. It is beautiful beyond words. Original seems to be copied in front of it...Thank you for writing a brilliant piece here:)

      @Shaifali- I agree with the translation part, Shaifali. Thanks for reading!

      @Raj- I agree :)

      @Akila- You are always generous with your comments dear. :):):)

      @Mithlash- :)

      @prateek mathur- I wish I could but I have to ask for permission...:)

      @Upasana- :)

      @Dr Mandeep Khanuja- I would say the same...:)

      @Dr.Shaizi- Seriously, hats off to him!

      @Arti- Isn't blogging wonderful!!!

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  21. Every poem of yours leaves me speechless. This one is no less than a masterpiece. Truly every word of yours is so soul-stirring.

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    1. Thank you so much and again I would say - It feels great to be appreciated by someone who writes as good as you do...:)

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  22. kya baat ..kya baat ... kya baat !

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  23. and madam! aapka toh mein kya boloon! bas shukriyaada karna chahti hoon ki aap hamaare zindagi mein aaye :)

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    Replies
    1. I want to say the same to you:) Thank you, Akila:)

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  24. Hi Saru..:) After translating your poem at google,I felt sad and it turned my eyes to tear..hmmm... I hope you're just fine..:) Thanks alot.. This is wonderful poem..:) Keep shairng..:)

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    1. I am fine and thanks for the concern dear:)

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  25. Done it again:) Yes Saru, your Hindi writing is getting better and better, great stuff....and Umashankar Pandey's attempt is stunning too. Translations require much more skill than people generally realise which makes the try (successful)all the more gutsy....

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Sir and I agree with you on the translation part. It is indeed a beautiful translation...:)

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  26. Looking back at the way things have shaped up, I can tell you,sadly- you are right. True love is never complete. There are no happily-ever-afters. But that does not make it any less beautiful while it lasts :) Journey itself is the destination ! Loved the idea behind your lines and lines...well, you rock at that already :)

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    Replies
    1. Love is a beautiful feeling whether it is complete or not. However, painful days sound a bit longer...Thanks for writing the last line. :) :) :)

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  27. Whether every story is complete or not is highly debatable and I don't think we will ever get an answer. A lot depends on one's definition of "complete". What you have presented is one side of it; the bigger picture and the more practical one. But a love story could just be as good as complete in the moments that add up to the eventual incompleteness. It's not the completion, but the feeling of fulfillment or the lack of it, is what that matters.

    Wow, I guess my comment was longer than your poem :)...that's the kind of emotion you have evoked...beautiful is an incomplete word for this :)

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    Replies
    1. Following part of your comment is beautiful. And, I agree with you on this completely.

      "But a love story could just be as good as complete in the moments that add up to the eventual incompleteness. It's not the completion, but the feeling of fulfillment or the lack of it, is what that matters."

      You know, bloggers love long comments. I am thankful to you for writing your heart and sharing those lovely lines. :)

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    2. So don't be surprised if u see the exact lines in any of my upcoming post :)

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    3. I will be looking forward to that post. :)

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  28. Very soulful song.. You rock!. The translation is great too... Most of the stories of our lives are incomplete sigh!

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    Replies
    1. Sigh! For all the incomplete stories of our lives!

      But

      Cheers to the spirit called life!!!

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  29. Reminds me of 'mein pal do pal ka shayar hun' and I can actually Imagine Amitabh singing these lines. Truly beautiful. As said before, I love the Hindi versions more.

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    Replies
    1. So do I...That song is lovely. Thanks for reading Jenny!!1

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  30. Lovely lines...and the translated version stands out too..

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  31. sunder prastuti Saru,badhai sweekaren....

    Happy Holi............

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for reading Indu :)

      Happy Holi to you too :)

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  32. Another beauty from you Saru! Loved it absolutely!

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  33. Dying to know the theme of this poem; kind a poor in Hindi. So, translation please!!!

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    Replies
    1. Read the translation by Umashankar above...:)

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  34. Find some music directors...you'll make one great lyricist. :)

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    Replies
    1. I wish...It will be like living a dream...:) Thanks for such an inspiring comment, Vinay!

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  35. Wah! Well written. It is lovely how the languages have their own charm. :)

    Apke hindi ke alfaaz bhi bhaut khoob hai!

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  36. Wow! Beautiful lines that touch our soul. Kudos on yet another amazing post :)

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  37. Touching, words heartfelt and deep... wonderful Saru, your words have life..

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    Replies
    1. That's so nice of you. Thank you Arti!

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  38. na hain ye adhuri,
    na humsey bhi hain tinka bhar ki doori..
    chu gayi dil ko
    dard si bhari daastaan ye tumhari..

    bohot hi khoosurati se likha hain :)

    beautiful work saru :)

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    1. Thanks for those lovely lines, I loved it!!!

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  39. such simplicity yet so much beauty, love it.....
    thanks for sharing.....

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  40. i think this is your first hindi poetry that i have had a chance to read and i must say its as good as the english ones....loved itsaru:)very touching and realy well written

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Alka for those kind words:) :) :)

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  41. Excellent, this proves that a poet does need a language! Your hindi poems show the same class as your english ones

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    1. Thanks and means a lot coming from you Arnab:)

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  42. Brilliant Saru !! your words are so beautiful ...

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  43. no word to express myself..
    beautiful...

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  44. The whole poem is really beautiful but the opening and concluding lines are absolutely out of this world! Superb!!

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  45. brilliant Saru...muuuuah!!!

    loved every line, why don't you send this to javed akhtar? :D

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    Replies
    1. I won't, you know he will find grammatical and other errors in it. I will be heart broken. But, would it be great if he likes it a little bit...

      Thanks for your lovely comment Rahul!

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  46. हमारे मिलन में अभी सदियों की दूरी है
    touching emotional poem

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  47. Sorry for my late response Saru, as you know the reason why; but will always make it a point to comeback and read the posts I have missed of yours. They are all master-pieces and this one as well. And you said some time ago, it was nice to see a hindi poem of yours in the top 10. Now you have two. And only a matter of time it becomes 3 with this one. :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Akshay for a valuable comment. Hope you get well soon. With your comment, I am indebted to you...

      I know how difficult it is in your situation. I am truly inspiring. An ultimate comeback kid!!!

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  48. Amazing poetry Saru. Here is a tag for you- http://abhyudayadoses.blogspot.in/2012/03/dreaded-eleven-questions-tag.html

    Regards,

    Abhyu

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Abhyu for your comment and for tagging me along...:)

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  49. omg,, this is very touching , Love your Blog !

    Ravi
    new delhi

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  50. Wah! Aapne to hamko shabdon sei safar karna sikhadiya!
    Good work!
    Blessings!
    Anu

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  51. http://deepak-doddamani.blogspot.in/2012/03/tagged.html
    I have TAGGED you in my post and hope to get answers for my 11 questions from you :)

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    Replies
    1. Sure, I will try to answer all the questions. Give me some time...:)

      Thanks for tagging me...:)

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  52. It was a good read. It really was! Expressive!!!

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  53. बहुत बेहतरीन....
    मेरे ब्लॉग पर आपका हार्दिक स्वागत है।

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  54. Wonderful poem deee...as i always tell ..you are a great poetess

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    Replies
    1. Thanks a ton dear and means a lot coming from you!

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  55. http://kshahzworld.blogspot.in/2012/03/unheard-voice-can-encourage-you.html :):)

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    1. Thank you so much dear...I'm truly honored!

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  56. after a very very long time reading an adorable poem. u r omg at english as well as hindi too

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  57. ये लफ्ज़ अधूरे पर बातें पूरी है,
    दो जिस्मों में जैसे तिनका भर दूरी है,
    ये फ़ासिले न तय होंगे कभी,
    क्योंकि हर दास्ताँ -ए- मोहब्बत अधूरी है !...............saru beautifullllllllllll ....lines . sahi hai har dastan adhoori hi rah jati hai ...........to kabhi shabdo ki kami ho jati hai ......nice lovely .........thumhari hindi ki sabhi poems acchi hai .

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Shashi...Your comment means a lot to me...:)

      Delete
  58. मै एक आशावादी इंसान हु, और समझता हु कि अधूरी दास्ताँ भले ही हमारा दिल दुखा दे, लेकिन इन्ही अधूरी दास्ताओं को पूरा करने की उम्मीद हमें कभी कभी जीने के लिए प्रोत्साहित करती है.
    हलाकि मुझे यह कहना नहीं चाहिए, क्युकी कमेंट्स से ही पता चल रहा है कि आपके इस ऊंदा काव्य ने काफी लोगो के दिलो को छु लिया है. आपके अगली कविता कि राह देख रहा हु :))

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    Replies
    1. Rightly said Nimish. Even I am optimistic and I feel every fall teaches you to be better in life.

      And, your hindi is amazing...:)

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  59. Wonderfully written peom dear:) Love to read your peom"s I am following your Blog, do visit too:)Blog.spicenflavors.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading and liking. I will surely visit yours...

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  60. सुन्दर अति सुन्दर रचना

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  61. wow....this once is one of the best of what all i have read here...:):)

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  62. amazing saru :)
    this is probably your first hindi poem that i am reading.
    beautiful :)

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  63. yet another amazing poem.....
    keep it up Saru

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  64. कुछ भी कहो हर मोहब्बत की कहानी;

    कही-न-कही से अधूरी है..

    फिर ये कोई सितम नहीं है;

    तुम्हारी कहानी भी नहीं पूरी है.

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  65. Dear Saru,
    This poem of yours is height of awesomeness..

    Wonderful!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Avdhessh and welcome here:)

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  66. Beauty of an eternal romance has been immortalized in these beautiful lines.. really loved it.. GREAT POEM.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Deepak and I so loved your story, or the idea of it. :)

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  67. nice whiff of sensualistic romance ..i should say"

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