That empty bottle on the top shelf needs a companion and so do I


I was so lonely. Nearly suicidal. I needed someone to unravel the stagnancy, unearth the source of my pain and disperse it into the Ganges. I wanted salvation. And God gave me you.

'Will you talk to me today?' I texted.

'Of course. Call me after 11,' you replied.

I wanted to talk to you as a woman, not as a friend. I have a dark-shameful past which I needed to share before I could reclaim the woman in me. I took out the cheapest wine from the refrigerator. $16 bottle from Costco. I took out the tallest glass from the cupboard and filled it to the brim. One-third of the bottle was gone. I drank it in 5 minutes. Another glass in 15. The whole bottle under 45 minutes. Before 11, I was drunk, foggy and free.

You called.

'Can I speak freely to you today?' I asked. 'Have you ever not talked freely to me, but anyway, go ahead,' pat came your reply.

In my drunken state, I don't remember where I started, I emptied all that I had in me. I was digging my own past. There was dirt all over me. It was suffocating and confusing. I felt dishevelled, filthy and messy - just like my past. Fully clothed, I stood naked in front of you. You knew every demeaning thing I did in my life. I unbuttoned my top one button at-a-time. Showed my cleavage, breast, waist, and the deep-untraceable-unreachable wounds under them. You became the only man who saw the scars on my body, touched them with your words and told me to wear them with pride.  You own me without even laying a finger. At one point, I was so exhausted, I started weeping.

'Don't. Don't weep. It kills me.' There was more uneasiness in your voice than pain in my broken heart.

'F**k you,' I said lovingly.

'One day, I will,' you replied and both burst into laughter.

My memory is wavey after that. Did you blow kisses on the phone? Did you cry? Actually no, leave it. Don't answer these questions. I'll miserable if the answer is yes.

I've kept that empty wine bottle on the top shelf of my closet. One day we will drink together and there will be one more bottle to add to my collection.

Please come. Let's have a drink. That empty bottle on the top shelf needs a companion and so do I.

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