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Monday, January 5, 2015

Love, it is...


Have I told you about the day you touched me? Maybe not. It rained a day before in Jaipur. Weather was still humid, my feeling needed a touch of gentle breeze and then, you came. You sat next to me, you looked a million bucks and I was plain. I am sure you didn't even notice my hands sweating in apprehension. By accident, you touched me. It rocked my world, it was surreal, so magical that each of my body parts was celebrating that moment. You said sorry. I wondered, for what? It was as close as anyone can get to consummate by a touch. You narrated a story after that. I am sorry, I didn't listen. I was wishing you could touch me one more time, not by accident, though. You could hold me between your arms, slide your body close to mine and kiss me passionately. I was watching your fingers, wishing I could slip into them or hold them between mine. You asked why I was quiet? I smiled. You can never understand the hurricane I was holding inside of me. If I let that burst away that day, you would have understood passion. If... I think now. 

I saw that picture you posted on Facebook yesterday, one in which you had your arm around your wife. I thought, does she feel the way I felt ten years ago? I bet, not. Only longing can bring this much intensity, this much passion. I was a bit jealous, I imagined standing next to you and your arm over my shoulder. You can never imagine what all followed next. Daydreaming, I know. But I 'liked' that picture, not that the picture was good, but I know how your touch feels. Just so you know, 'Like' was for that touch you gave me 10 years ago. Touch - that etched in my memory and never faded away. Touch - the only thing I have from you, besides a never ending desire to be in your arms.

Sometimes I think, is this lust? No, it can't be lust. Of all the things I imagine doing with you, I always end up spending my days with you, listening to the many things you share about your work on Facebook. I am always in your arms, never on your bed. See, there is a difference. It is love for sure. Sadly, I never had the courage to share my feelings with you. I wish you could get hold of my diary someday and read all that I write here, like it happens in movies. In case that happens, let me tell you, I have never been touched that way again.

Yours,

*Image - Lake Winnipesaukee, New Hampshire

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78 comments:

  1. That happens a lot of times, doesn't it? Maybe it is a yearning that refuses to go away. Beautifully penned, Saru.

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    Replies
    1. I guess so, some emotions refuse to leave with time.

      Thanks for reading.

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  2. Longing - can be very lonely at times. I loved the way you ended the story ... gentle and yet so touching.

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  3. I know the feeling.. very touching Saru...

    it is definitely LOVE..

    Bikram's

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  4. Only if.....she gathered courage to tell him...only if...well love surely it was...as longing for a touch a beautiful form of love :) lovely Saru.

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    Replies
    1. Longing for a touch defines the intensity of love. Thanks for reading, Shweta. :)

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  5. Wonderful article.

    Everyone has this longing, an unfulfilled fantasy that hides beneath the darkest folds; refusing to see the light of the day!

    Enjoyed reading. :)

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    Replies
    1. That is true but the good with writers is that we can fulfill it by jotting it down on a piece of paper.

      Thank you so much for reading.

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  6. Longing brings the intensity ! Such a common yet complex thought that you have put beautifully :). And the definition of "touch"-priceless :)
    For the tone of it, and the setting in Jaipur, I wish I had written this :). This is one of your best , I think !

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    1. My stay in Jaipur was so intoxicating that it has inspired many posts. Glad you liked it and thanks for a beautiful comment.

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    2. Great to know about your thoughts on Jaipur! :)

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  7. Oh!! Lovely
    I wonder how can you feel each feeling so deeply and then pen it down so nicely!!
    You sound a avery sensitive person!!!

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    Replies
    1. What can I say! Thanks for a lovely compliment, Shraddha. :)

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  8. Love indeed. A very genuine one Saru, kinda makes one feel what you are writing here, words sure are powerful emotions :)..

    Thank you for this one. I really liked it..

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    Replies
    1. Sure, they have the power to move you.

      Thanks for a heart-warming comment, Vinay. :)

      Delete
  9. I sometimes feel the same with my husband....:) It's never the same as the 1st time...even though he is there to wrap me around his arms, the longing for the same feeling as his 1st touch can never be satisfied again.....law of diminishing returns ;) - he he he

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha... Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility! :P

      Welcome back, Vidhya! :)

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  10. I am always in your arms, never on your bed. See, there is a difference.This is called True love. Touching

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  11. The post is emotionally very touching Saru. These memoirs do linger in the mind for ever. This is true love and can never be termed as lust.

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  12. Very touching one Saru! Hope he comes to know how she feels about him...

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  13. Just one touch is enough :-)
    Nicely penned Saru.

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  14. is it a fiction? You stated though :)

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  15. Your fiction is or was probably reality for so many!

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  16. A beautifully written love story, Saru. You made us all feel one with BaawriBasanti. ;)
    Awesome job here, Saru.

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  17. Nice one, Saru. Only a woman makes so much distinction between love and lust. And a few men too :)

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  18. Beautifully penned Saru. I can feel her yearning through your words.

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  19. A sad story - but one we can all relate to. Well written.

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  20. subtle!....brings memories of subtle moments....the tender of relationships so beautifully expressed.

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  21. Lovely indeed! and emotionally so true and touching from the view point of a woman.. :-)

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  22. Wow beautifully written can relate to it ;)

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  23. How romantic! We don't have to watch a movie to bring out our romantic side. Just reading your stories and poems are enough :) Once again touched the heart.. But Fiction ? Really ? :))

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    1. Humbled to read your generous feedback. And yes, it's fiction. :D

      Nivedita, please link your blog next time you comment. I am having difficulty getting to your blog. :)

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    2. Oh! I don't have a blog. Just happened to get to your blog through FB when one of my friends commented on your link :)

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    3. I am truly honored. It's quite rare non-bloggers read and comment on any blog. You just made my day. :)

      Btw, who is that friend?

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    4. Aww you are welcome and your topics and writing are such . So I'm sure a lot of people love it :) It's Vidhya Rao.

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    5. Thank you. Have to thank Vidhya now. :)

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  24. How poignant. You really drew the reader in with your deeply felt emotions so beautifully written. And some things should remain in the imagination only, so as not to be tainted by the mundane slant of everyday events.

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    1. Right! What is in imagination will always feed your desires.

      Thanks for reading.

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  25. I have already read it for 6th time and also shared it with my friends.. They loved it as well..
    A true magician you are :-)

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    1. You just made my day. Thank you so very much, Sonia <3

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  26. Your words leave a beautiful feeling Saru... You create a world that is so sweet, peaceful and filled with love (not air) :)
    I am so happy to be here after a l....ong time :)
    TC! Keep smiling :)

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    1. Good to see you back, Sindhu.

      And thanks for a lovely comment.

      Delete
  27. Nothing really left for me to write when so many others have penned the glory, Saru:) Sometimes it is advantageous to be late in reading things!

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  28. Now this is truly romantic :). Loved the choice of words as it brought out the different emotions beautifully :D.

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  29. Such a touching post :-)
    Love <3

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  30. I was travelling a parallel universe. Very well written.

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  31. A very touching story indeed. Liked it very much...

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