badge

Recent Articles

Monday, January 19, 2015

Let's Do the Washing Tonight


It’s only twice in my life that I thanked God for my short height. You read it right, being short comes with few advantages and this realization dawned upon me last year. Once, when I went to Jersey Shore, there was a height restriction for many rides. You need to be short to hop onto few of them. Second, when I started noticing that after doing the laundry, either a sock or a handkerchief was missing. You see, our community has a common laundry room and dryers are mounted on top of each other. Once I loaded the laundry in upper dryer, and I couldn't see the bottom of it. I just threw the clothes in and even with the best efforts, a sock remained in it. And to my sheer good luck, the dryers in the bottom rack had mechanical issues. So, when my husband inquired about his missing sock, I told him the entire story. On that fine (to be read as fortunate) day, he announced that he will do the laundry from now on. 

It went on blissfully for few weeks - I relaxed and I hummed, 'let's do the washing tonight,' when he did the laundry. But like in every fairy tale, there came a crooked twist, that hit the lady in me. One Sunday, he came back from the laundry room carrying the basket of unfolded clothes and said, 

‘Yeh lo, maine aapka kaam kar diya’

Loosely translated as -‘Take this basket. See, I did your work.’ 

I fumed at the words my work. So I asked, containing my chafed nerves, ‘This basket has your clothes and my clothes. Then, how come it’s only my work?’ I bet, he understood that he ventured into the wrong territory. ‘Actually, since the day we got married, you did the laundry. That’s why I said so. Like I go and do the groceries on the weekend, that’s my work,’ he replied. Clever boy! I must say that was a good save. But later I asked him,

‘Do you think cooking, doing dishes and laundry is my job?’ 

His logic was simple - work should be divided in a family. If one spouse goes out for work, then other should take care of the house. Fair enough! Then, next question followed -

‘What if both of them are working?’

‘Well, in that case, they should divide the work among themselves,’ he replied. It sounded so right but sadly, it isn't real. I am among the few whose husband shares the responsibility of household chores and boasts about it on his blog stating all the relevant statistics. But the bigger picture is lopsided - ⅔rd of Indian women say that there is an inequality between men and women at home and an equal number of men think that doing laundry is a woman’s job. And how often girls get to hear this - 

Beta seekh lo, varna sasural jaa ke kya karoge
Or 
Ladkiyon ko toh sab kuch aana chahiye

I feel, such mentality is imbibed in us from childhood. Men have an unquestionable right to relax once they are back from work and women must cook, wash and serve even after an equally tiring work. Why such an indifference? We think, sometimes we rebel but we hardly try to do anything about it. Worse, we label those men who work alongside their wives - ‘You know, Mr Mehta is tied to his wife’s apron strings!’ If a man can cook, iron and washes clothes professionally, why can’t he do the same things at home to share the burden of his wife or mother, I ask? 

To Men - we have proved our metal in every aspect of life, now it’s your turn to show that you care and are ready to shun that outdated mindset. More importantly -

Be a man -  who cooks breakfast with your wife.


Be a man - who does laundry while she is cooking. So you guys can wrap-up things faster and watch a movie later.


And my personal favorite, be an Iron Man and a true Superhero.


*I am writing for #IsLaundryOnlyAWomansJob activity at BlogAdda.com in association with Ariel.
**Image Sources - 1, 2, 3

Pin It Now!

64 comments:

  1. aah ! Even i tried helping her with the laundry ! But later she took it over from me! Need to peep in again now, about what she thinks of doing the laundry all by her own !

    And .. The good things comes in Small (short) packages Saru !! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should ask her and let us know Ajay.

      Thanks for a word of encouragement. :)

      Delete
  2. Sharing of domestic work without demarcation of boundaries is the need of the hour:) Best of luck for the contest, Saru!

    ReplyDelete
  3. There must be sharing of work at home.But one cannot have and hard and fast water tight rules.There has to be flexibility and understanding.Depends on the physical and mental condition of the partners.Some husbands do a lot more work.In some house holds the women do the lions share. But they do it willingly & happily. Different equations for different homes. Each couple needs to arrive at the optimum equation in their relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right, to each his own. We can't make a rule book for it.

      Delete
  4. well i think that we all need to share it all.. we live in a age where there is nothing called Women's work, man's work..

    I do my own laundary ..

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True that!
      Thanks for reading, Bikram.

      Delete
  5. I have seen that most men would not do their laundry. Even when they do, they don't fold it. Luckily with washing machines, it is not such a huge task. But the folding clothes is another pain. Mostly I end up doing it because when they fold, it is just more like crumpling and dumping.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Excellent post, Saru! I can feel that you are not complaining about doing any work but you are questioning 'labeling of works as men's and women's'. I feel the same as you. I hate it when people (including women) tell something like that. The feminist within me wants to fight with my hubby, but, he is a feminist too! So, I usually don't get any chance to fight...
    People are changing, but, it will take some time... I hope your efforts will open the eyes of some people!
    TC! Keep smiling :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Things are changing and I hope the pace picks up.
      Sorry to hear about your grandfather.

      Delete
  7. Well said Saru! You have pretty much summed up how every girl feels and what every guy should be doing;)) wish u loads of luck for the contest!!:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. nice post..
    your most welcome to my blog.
    http://iwillrocknow.blogspot.in/

    ReplyDelete
  9. I see the blog battle between husband and wife..I read Alok's blog on 'how much he wishes he was born as fairer sex...'.....
    Nonetheless, I completely agree the division of labor should be shared equally (that includes the time we spend at work).....So he does the grocery but I decide the list, what to cook and cook major meals...but he is incharge of breakfast....He does laundry, folds clothes ...but I get to put them in place and also clean the laundry lint ..... If i go to drop my son for any of his activities....he has to go and pick him up....and so on and so forth is the rule to our life.....and the most important one is.....If i pack the lunch for him....HE HAS TO FINISH IT...no matter how it tastes :D.......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! Same here, I have to say - great minds like alike :D

      Delete
  10. That Iron Man is really interesting and funny too. I liked the part where you said do the laundry while she is cooking so that you can watch movie later, together. I wish every man could understand how much more a woman can give him if he cared more about and allowed her to do what she wishes to in her life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said, Namrata. Thanks for a lovely comment.

      Delete
  11. Doing laundry is their way of showing love, isn't it? :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It surely is, and if they want they can cook and clean too :P

      The more, the merrier, I mean the love.

      Delete
  12. Iron Man :-D :-D Every male should understand this, I think equal distribution of household jobs makes a perfect family :-) Nicely written Saru..

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi, Have I told you before that I lOVE reading your blogs.
    Your words truly inspire me and so I have nominated you for "Very Inspiring Blog Award", I hope u wil accept it and Pls check the details here http://www.ananyatales.com/2015/01/greedy-me.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Ananya. It means a lot to me. :)

      Delete
  14. Very well-written, Saru.
    Totally agree with all your points. Most can identify with such husband-wife conversation about laundry!
    Best wishes for the contest :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ah! Yes - that the household work ought to be split fairly. Thing, though, is I am not too sure whether there will be a uniform idea of what is fair :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There can never be a uniform idea or division. To each his own, fits best here.

      Delete
  16. I have to say...I'm one of the few lucky ones where all the work is divided fairly...in fact there are days when hubby does more than me. I wish everyone was as lucky!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Saru so far as sharing of chores is it is descent and well balanced behavior if couple share it and i agree there is nothing these days like the days of yore loke a man's job or a woman's job.
    i only hope and pray that men should be iron men but women should be iron women too but in doing so should not become man in their behavior and attitude...i hope you understand what i mean.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do and welcome back, Shivani. You were missed.

      Delete
  18. Apologies for the typo...kindly read like for loke. And yes do stop by at my post too...i am there...if not regularly but am still there. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got that! Looking forward to read your blogs.

      Delete
  19. Nice post. I too agree with the post and most of the comments above. Worthy to be chosen for the prize.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Nicely written !! am sharing on my blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Well-written Saru! Labelling work is fast fading at least in our homes though can not generalize it! My hubby helps too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, we can't generalize and this trend is fading.
      Welcome back, Deepa.

      Delete
  22. Good one Saru. Love the iron man image!!
    I have a iron man at home. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I do all of these at home Saru :) Nice post. Good luck for the contest :)

    Someone is Special

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to know that and thanks for your wishes, SIS. :)

      Delete
  24. Laundry should be everyone's job who wants to stay clean ;) ... Beautifully written Saru! We can build a better future the sooner we come out of such cliche mentalities.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. It's like a shell we need to break.

      Delete
  25. Thoroughly enjoyable post. Specially how you got your husband to start doing the laundry and how you took him up on it when he had the audacity to say he'd done your work. Way to go Saru!

    ReplyDelete
  26. State of art presentation Saru. I take care of my own laundry because i understand the sensitivity of my clothes. Why a shirt be differentiated from a trouser in the washing tub of a machine is a serious question to ponder for my better half. So for a safe wash and longevity i chose it.

    ReplyDelete
  27. From the time we are born, our families have this tendency to set aside work which males do and work which females do.

    I guess in this fast paced world where both husband and wife are working in a lot many cases, it's important to realize that dividing household responsibilities between the partners. Managing household activities shouldn't be seen as an insult rather a responsibility.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very well said, Aseem. Work is not gender specific.

      Delete
  28. Yes If both of them do the work, it would be faster and they will get time to spend together. :)

    ReplyDelete

This blog breathes on your comments!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...